WHAT’S THE RUMPUS?

I came home late on a Sunday, and the house was a screaming zoo

I couldn’t tell if it was a party or a full on wrecking crew

there were barrels of Booze in my bathroom, Bodies all over my floor

they charging me a cover at my own front door!

 

When the whole thing’s over, there’s gonna be hell to pay,

But when its upside, downside, inside out, what else can you say?

 

Hey Pah da-da-da-da yah hah hey What’s the Rumpus ?

Hey Pah da-da-da-da yah hah hey What’s the Rumpus ?

Hey Pah da-da-da-da yah hah hey What’s the Rumpus ?

Cad e an sceil a buachail? What’s the Rumpus?

 

A pack of Peruvian peddlers, were giving Guinness to their llamas

One came out of my bedroom, wearing my best pajamas,        

Half a dozen Hungarian dancers doing Hornpipes on the bar

Something running in the kitchen, It might have been my car

You know when the whole thing’s over, there’s gonna be hell to pay,

But when its upside, downside  inside out, what else can you say?

 

Hey Pah da-da-da-da yah hah hey What’s the Rumpus ?

Hey Pah da-da-da-da yah hah hey What’s the Rumpus ?

Hey Pah da-da-da-da yah hah hey What’s the Rumpus ?

Cad e an sceil a buachail? What’s the Rumpus?

 

Walshie’s waltzing with a tree, pete and podge were on their backs

Drunken Monkey's drinking draino and the guarda's in the jacks

people hanging out my windows, and bowling down my hall

Mad Music loud enough to shake the shingles off the wall.

 

You know when the whole thing’s over, there’s gonna be hell to pay,

But when its upside, downside  inside out, what else can you say?

 

Hey Pah da-da-da-da yah hah hey What’s the Rumpus ?

Hey Pah da-da-da-da yah hah hey What’s the Rumpus ?

Hey Pah da-da-da-da yah hah hey What’s the Rumpus ?

Cad e an sceil a buachail? What’s the Rumpus?

 

LOVER’S WRECK

(Dm) A hundred days at sea, A retch away from misery

(G) Rummies and rats and tarry jacks my only family (break)

The island of salvation Is still a scream a way

As the lungs of the night Blow out the light my heart kneels Down to pray

(strait into chorus)

Lord why did you take her She meant so much to me

Now I’m a wretched soul on a privateer Drowning out at sea

I’m killing and I’m drinking My blue heart to black

But I swear oh lord I’ll never sin again If you bring her back

 

Gypsy was a siren, Dripping with desire

Her moonless hair and skin so fair as warm as frozen fire

She had the loyalty of a cat, behind those pale green eyes

through her cherry lips, the devil slipped, a thousand lies

A clan of rogues and vagabonds, occupied her head

That thieving band took her pale white hand and stole her from my bed

And like a ghost ship in the night, She drifted out once more

To land upon the sand of another lover’s shore

 

Lord why did you take her She meant so much to me

Now I’m a wretched soul on a privateer Drowning out at sea

I’m killing and I’m drinking My blue heart to black

But I swear oh lord I’ll never sin again If you bring her back

 

In my sleeping mind she sings a sad and lonely lullabye

When I wake there’s just the ache it will haunt me till I die

When those winds of vanity no longer blow her west

I pray they’ll guide her home (across the foam) and put my heart to rest

Press gang filled this Man-o-War To make the black mouthed cannon roar

Now all my trade is ball and blade, and blood forever more

And the sting of salt and spray, the ocean’s howl and squall

A stumbling wreck, I roam the deck, at the devil’s beck and call at the devil’s beck and call

 

Lord why did you take her She meant so much to me

Now I’m a wretched soul on a privateer Drowning out at sea

I’m killing and I’m drinking My blue heart to black

But I swear oh lord I’ll never sin again If you bring her back

 

We were sneaking home a bottle, when the guards came up the hill

“Lose the booze” cried D’arcy! And before we could reply,

He’d poured it in the nosebag of his donkey standing by.

The donkey had a ganky leg, and only one good eye.

When he got a lick of the whiskey, well you’d swear that he could fly

He rocketed through the roundabout, and down by jamsie’s bar,

Then he vaulted through the hedges at the track at ballintra

 

Here’s to you, to me and one and all

To the garda, and the gargle, and the trophy on the wall

Here’s to you, to me and one and all

the day that D’arcy’s drunken donkey won the race at Donegal

 

The gardai chased the donkey, and we followed in pursuit,

For fear they’d spill the whiskey, we begged them not to shoot

We barreled through the turnstiles we got there just in time,

To place our bets before the lot of ‘em reached the starting line.

The flag was up the race was on, the donkey looked behind

He saw the guards were after him but sure he didn’t mind

He had himself another sip and a second one as well,

Then bucked and kicked and knocked the competition all to hell.

 

Here’s to you, to me and one and all

To the garda, and the gargle, and the trophy on the wall

Here’s to you, to me and one and all

the day that D’arcy’s drunken donkey won the race at Donegal

 

The donkey past the post about a lap or two ahead

He finished off the whiskey and then toppled over dead

We went to check the bets and found when everything was done

 the garda came in second and paid 35 to one!

So we dragged the donkey’s carcass down to jamesies for a pint

To drink up all our winnings, and to celebrate the night

We missed the poor old Donkey, but still we had to laugh

When Jamesie made a trophy of the Donkey’s better half

 

So raise a beer in the air, to that famous derriere

Everybody raise a glass to D’arcy’s ass!  D’arcy’s ass!

 

CHORUS

 

Let me ask a favor that might seem a little odd,

I’m at a loss

I need to cross the ocean wide and I need to do it soon,

Like tomorrow afternoon

if that’s okay,

Loan me some wings for a day

 

They don’t need to be Angel’s wings, I’m sure they’re in demand

Something better than a chicken or a penguin would be grand.

It just can’t wait

She’s set the date to marry him and it really should be me,

Which explains the urgency,

I can’t delay

Loan me some wings for a day.

 

I promise I won’t use them for a daredevil career,

I won’t buzz the white house, or race seagulls at the pier

I won’t get caught

Doing naughty things with pigeons

Or cropdusting in Des Moines

I won’t run off to join,

cirque de soleil

Loan me some wings for a day

 

BRIDGE

 I wouldn’t ask this of anybody else, I’m sure you sympathize

Cause you’re the one who made those lips, and put the sparkle in her eyes,

It’s not your fault I said the things I said

I don’t blame you, for making me a fool

But with these wings, I’ll fly straight to her side

This time I’ll follow through

Ah, cmon’ God… I’d do the same for you…

You’d know, I’d do the same for you…

 

From a human to a God,

before she throws that last bouquet…

On a steamer bound for Baltimore

I said that’s no fun, i've been there before

So I jumped ship in Singapore

--------With a cook from Mexico

Got a bowl of shark-fin soup,

Ducked into a bar for a couple a scoops

Played some texas-stud with a circus troop

--------and they cleaned me out of dough

At dawn they all went back to bed,

I went to Borneo instead,

Had a hair-of-the dog for my shrunken head,

--------With the sultan of Brunei

Had a small bit of a seizure

On the way to Micronesia

Got a bad case of amnesia

--------And forgot to say goodbye

 

Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story

No harm no foul no crime

Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story

It’ll get ‘em every time.

 

Stopped in Tajikistan on the way to Iran,

Took a break in Jamaica to work on my tan,

Swam from Cayo Fragoso to Carriacou

I climbed Machu Pichu in Darkest Peru

Had a pint with the pope and played pool with the queen

She’s swam circles 'round a synchronized swimming team

I once had a job riding bulls in Montana

I taught Jimi Hendrix the star-spangled banner,

I’ve been to Morocco, Malawi, Macau

I know how to fly, but I won’t tell you how

 

Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story

No harm no foul no crime

Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story

It’ll get ‘em every time.

 

Bought an ice cold coca-cola

From a Congolese High-Rollah

Got deported from Angola

--------To a castle on the Rhine.

Ask anyone that knew me,

The Emir of Bahrain sued me,

I was in a Blockbuster Movie

--------And I didn’t make a dime

 

Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story

No harm no foul no crime

Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story

It’ll get ‘em every time

BEIDH AONACH AMARACH Beidh aonach amárach i gContae an Chláir

Beidh aonach amárach i gContae an Chláir

Beidh aonach amárach i gContae an Chláir

Cé mhaith dom é, ní bheidh mé ann?

 

[Curfa]

A mháithrín, an ligfidh tú chun aonaigh mé?

A mháithrín, an ligfidh tú chun aonaigh mé?

A mháithrín, an ligfidh tú chun aonaigh mé?

A mhuirnín ó, ná héiligh é.

 

Níl tú a deich ná a haon déag fós

Níl tú a deich ná a haon déag fós

Níl tú a deich ná a haon déag fós

Curfa

B'fhearr liom féin mo ghréasaí bróg

B'fhearr liom féin mo ghréasaí bróg

Ná oifigeach airm faoi lásaí óir.

Curfa

Fields of green

Stonewalls run between

Gray skies above

A falling leaf

The rock that sits beneath

These are all the things I love.

and when I'm far away

somehow they live inside of me

It's just a feeling I can't touch,

something I cant see, something I cant see, lives inside of me,

 

It's In my bones and in my blood

Don’t know what it is, but I know its good

Beneath my feet this faithful land

It’s all I understand

 

City glow

bustling streets below

the traffic's hum

windows gleam

plumes of smoke and steam

It's a world that I've become

and when I'm far away somehow they live inside of me

It's just a feeling I can't touch, something I cant see, something I cant see

 

It's In my bones and in my blood

Don’t know what it is, but I know its good

Beneath my feet this faithful land

It’s all I understand

 

On all these roads that rise ahead Ill find

another reason to believe

another place another part of me

Ill never have to leave. Ill never have to leave,

 
chorus

 
Fields of green

Stonewalls run between

Gray skies above

 

IF GOOD TIMES WERE DOLLARS

A piece of fluff, is all that's in my pocket

but that's enough to get me by

It's ain't so rough when there's nothing to swallow

when your head is full of memories

Got no credit, but I don't sweat it

don't give a damn don't really care

cause if good times were dollars

I would be... a millionaire

 

A little smile, breaks across my face

i sit awhile, close my eyes

it's not my style to worry bout something

when something my be something thats nothing at all

got no dough, but you know

I don't give a damn don't really care

cause if good times were dollars

I would be... a millionaire

 

Everybody's in a rush ... got some place to go

But if it's all the same to you

I'm going to sit right here and  watch the green grass grow

 

I'm in the bath, lying on my back

I do the math on my fingers and toes

I start to laugh cause I got nothing to my name

but I've got friends all around the world

Got no money, but it's funny

don't give a damn don't really care

cause if good times were dollars

I would be... a millionaire

 

THE NIGHT I PUNCHED RUSSELL CROWE

Here's a little story about someone that you know

he was a right famous fella by the name of Russell Crowe

I was workin' at a pub and he was smokin at the bar

and that's a crime as you all know in Cal-if-orn-ia

 

so I sidled up the rail, right to where he stood

said, sorry Mr. Crowe as nicely as I could

You'll have to put that out now throw it on the floor

and if you don't I'll have to kick you out...show you to the door

 

He squared right up to me somewhat in surprise

Then he narrowed up his gaze shot me daggers with his eyes

"If you think you're man enough, go ahead" he said

I was scared for me live so I dalked him in the head

 

The closest I've come to ending up dead

was the night that I punched Russell Crowe

The Gladiator in the head.

 

He lifted up his hands put them to his nose

blood was running through his fingers dripping on his clothes

His bodyguards ran up, "get him!" shouted Crowe

"Run!", cried Chucky, "run! and don't stop until you get to Mexico!"

 

The closest I've come to ending up dead

was the night that I punched Russell Crowe

The Gladiator in the head.

The closest I've come to being dead

was the night that I punched Russell Crowe

The Gladiator in the head.

 

You can't hit me I'm he Cinderella Man,

I'm the Master and Commander, I'm Australian

You can't hit me, don't you know I'm dangerous

I am the outlaw Ben Wade...I AM MAXIMUS!